Originally titled “positive life advice” I decided to change the title to “self care is selfish”. After reading peoples opinions on the new bout of self care accounts and threads all over social media
I learnt a lot about the evolution of looking after ourselves. In the past we were taught to “pamper ourselves within reason” maybe the odd bath bomb once in a while then it’s back to work.
Then after Parks and Rec we learnt “Treat Yo’ Self” a time to completely spoil ourselves. Now we’re all on the journey to self care and self love, which honestly isn’t a glowy, cute and pretty journey filled with rainbows and candyfloss, this is self care and self love inside your comfort zone. Don’t do that.
If you’re doing it right it will be rough and dirty because essentially you’re leaving behind the negative traits, behaviours and memories. You’re learning to live a new way, which isn’t a smooth journey but every now and then there are little bags of candy floss along the way for your big and little successes you make, and that’s the reality of it.
Nevertheless, there are still some who negatively perceive the act of self care as selfish, simply because it goes against the saying to “put others before yourself” and also because it can be seen as “reckless self indulgence”. This is a load of shit.
Nobody should put others in front of them if they themselves aren’t strong enough to. Just as the Mama Ru said “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” Focus on your needs then use your stronger abilities to help others❤.
This is how some people become doormats because taking the time to say ‘no’ or doing what they wanted was considered selfish.
You really expect me to believe that someone that stands up for a good cause, knows when to take time for themselves to recover after hard times and finds ways to love themselves whenever they can are shitty people? Bitch please.
So this blog post is dedicated to all the bootiful “selfish” people out there that just want to be their best selves, by focusing on their mental and physical health as well as knowing how to accept and love themselves for who they are in a society build on superficial values.
Here’s a list of positive affirmations, life advice, inspirational quotes and loving messages for whatever you are going through, may go through or have just come out of. Whatever works for you, I hope one of these points will help you in anyway. Because a few words can help your journey, it’s up to you to put these words into action.
Maybe get some post-it notes, stick them on your mirror and tell yourself the words everyday?
Set a reminder with a positive message every few hours? Send this blog post to friend that needs it? Because if adopting your own methods of self care and self love is selfish, then become the most selfish person ever.
- Love yourself like you would love your best friend
- Remember the traits of the toxic person in your life (remove them too) and stear clear of those who exhibit the same traits that you may meet in the future.
- Be the person you needed as a kid
- Be as sexual or as modest as you want to be and don’t shame anyone who lives differently to you. If they’re not harming anyone why be angry at them?
- You may feel disappointed, but you’re not a disappointment
- Don’t compare your life/self to others. There’s no comparison between the sun and the moon, they both shine when it’s their time.
- Always give yourself time when and forever how long you need it.
- Take a nap. Maybe you’ve had a bad day? Some say not to go to bed angry but in some cases that’s actually the answer. You’ll wake up refreshed able to make better decisions, evaluate how you feel with a clear mind and know what to do next.
- Find your safe place but also take the time to explore when it’s right to.
- Stopping self-doubt is a journey, there will be good days and bad days but it’s important to take in the good ones
- Be a sweet badass (someone that doesn’t take shit from anyone but also knows how to be a good person)
- Celebrate your successes even the really small ones
- Only say sorry if you really need to
- Nobody is perfect. The person you’re comparing yourself to may seem like they have ‘everything’ you wish you had, but they actually don’t. They have their own insecurities, mistakes, problems that you may actually be completely secure and confident in.
- You have every right to say no
- Don’t waste time and energy over what you can’t control
- Only give an explanation to those you believe have always been there for you and deserve it.
- Don’t let others ruin your happiness
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help
- Never make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
- Baby steps for anything
- Never let anyone pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do
- Never try and fit into someone else’s mould, you were put in this world for a reason to live your own unique purpose
- You can’t please everyone and you don’t need to
- Don’t diet because someone/society forced you to look a certain way. Just be healthy, a healthy body can be any size.
- Make a funny folder on Instagram’s collections, anything that makes you happy/laugh save it in there so when you have bad days you can have some ‘happy memory relief’.
- You deserve to feel how you feel. Your feelings are valid.
- Don’t light yourself on fire trying to brighten someone else’s existence
- An eye for an eye will just come back at you so kill them with kindness
- Grow at your own speed
- Always keep learning
- Don’t feel stupid if you don’t like what everyone else pretends to love
- Great things never came from comfort zones
- Listen to that song you keep skipping
- Find a role model that makes you want to be the best person you can be
- If you don’t like where you are, move. You’re not a tree.
- Be so good they can’t ignore you
- Make a Pinterest account. The feeling of sorting and organising even if it’s online is quite therapeutic😊 make open or secret boards for anything. In mine I have a travel board, a board devoted to books and a board devoted to photography etc. Just make what makes you happy (my Pinterest board https://www.pinterest.co.uk/OfficialJOD/ )
You don’t have to do everything on this list, even just one is fine 🎉 because just as improving your physical health is important it transcends to your mental health’s well-being.
Think of yourself and what you want and need to be happy and healthy. See you in the next blog post, thank you for reading!!!